This was the year, in fourth grade, I had to learn many things that I never realized happened in life. That was death and friendships. Allow me to go back.
When I was in Logan, Utah we had moved into the Third Floor of a University Housing Complex.
I was the new girl, and I felt a that point I always was the new girl. I had anxiety really bad, I mean I was scared a lot. I internalized how I felt to the world because I didn't understand how I felt. I hated moving. I never wanted to move and it seemed that we moved a lot. I made friends ok, but hten we had to up and move again. This really made me feel like I was out casted and awkward. Maybe that is how all chilren feel. There was some girls in my class that were all friends and one girl who for some reason we just hated each other. She really hated me and because she was so rude to me, I really had a strong disliking to her.
This girl, named Katelyn was just really arrogant. For some reason, we just didn't get along. She alwys tried kicking me in the chair, the list went on and on. One day, I told my mom I disliked her so badly,I wanted to change class rooms. The next Monday when I showed up to class, I was not only sitting right next to her, My Math book was missing. Her English Book was missing from her desk. We accused eachother of stealing each others books. The Teachers solution was that we were to share each others books, and if there were homework that I needed in math or homework she needed to do for English, we had to go to eachothers house and do homework together. The first week consisted of her not allowing me to touch her book. At all. Slowly, and very gradually, she bacame my best friend in forth Grade and within a couple of months we were inseperable. Many times we would laugh so hard we would snort, we would do all kinds of things together. We were best friends. And that friendship carried all the rest of our lives. Sometimes for years I would not hear from her but rest assured, she and I would pick up from where we left off right after.
At the same time school started and I was all moved in there was one girl that attracted my attention.
Her name was LeiAloha H (names in this story has been changed to protect their identity.)
LeiAloha had very thick glasses. She walked very slowly and had a bent back and twisted legs. Her back arched really badly and she was about the size of a 2T and her feet were tiny. About the size of the palms of my hand. LeiAloha had one hand (left) that at times she could not control. From the first day of school I could see her struglling to walk to the play ground. And everyday she would get trampled over and pushed down and no one would stop to help her up. The only thing she would be able to do on the playground without getting trampled is swing. But by the time she got to the swing set, kids would be there to push her down, not let her on and about ten minutes later,s he had to make the trek back to class which was a painstainkingly 20 or more mintures because again, she'd get pushed down, made fun of, not helped, and I could not stand it. I hated it. So, for the second week of the beginning of school I decided I was going to get her a swing. I would to get to the swings and wait my turn and when someone would leave the swing, I would sit on it and swing until LeiAloha would come. Then, I would tell her to come on it and I would give her my swing. The first day I was sad. She refused my swing and just looked down on the ground. Well, I was determined, I was the tallest girl in the class room and the tallest girl in fourth and fifth grades. Of course my sister was the tallest in the school and so I settled for second tallest.But I was more determined to befriend this girl. I didn't want to see someone be mean to her. The next day I insisted that she come to the swing. M,ssoin accomplished. She came to the swing, but she was to short to come on it without help. And so I lifted her on the swing.
I pushed her in silence as she swang.
The next day I decided that only five minutes of play ground time was not enough. So, I said to her that I did not want to watch her everyday have to struglle to get to playground, and I was tired of people being mean to her. So, I told her if she let me, she can climb on my back and I can piggy back ride to the playground, and I will swing her. She was leary at first. But, within a few minutes of getting to the swing for the first time in her life, she loved it. The next day and everyday after that, I would carry her to and from the swings and gradually, I helped her on other things, like the monkey bars. I developed a group of friends that were all really nice girls and it was our "job" I would tell my friends, to protect her. And they and I did. There were times however, she was too sick or would have to go to the hospital that she could not come school. I would really miss her and worry about her. My friends would not think much of it. But I thought about her all the time.
I got fed up with some of the boys pushing her down and once while I went to the bathroom and came back, she was in the middle of a cruel game of tag. She was in the middle of a cirlse of five boıys. they were all pushing her down and when she would try to get up they would take turns pushing her down again. I was boiling mad. I hit two boys and was trying to give a thrid a good old smack down when they ran away and the frist two were crying and had gotten really bad bloody noses. Next thing I knew it I was in the Principals Office. My mom came in the office and said, What Happened? I told her that I punched two boys because they were pushing down LeiAloha. My mom said, Did they hurt you? I said No, she said Did you hit them as hard as you could? I said Yes, I tried to kick them after but they got away. She said Did they cry? I said Yes, they have bloody noses or black eye or something. She said GOOD JOB! I am taking you to get ice cream! Don't let anyone ever bully anyone else. Let's go! And she took me to get Aggies Ice Cream. After School I had a sleep over with LeiAloha and mom got us Pizza. She wanted to celebrate that I beat up some bad mean bullies. Looking back, Way to go, Mom!
One day I was invited to go to her house. Pleasantly we discovered that my apartment complex was across the street from her house! This was awesome for us because we were so close and we did not even know it. I had a Radio Flyer Wagon I loved so much and I would get her, her Barbies and her Barbie things and we would put her things in the Red Flyer, she would sit in the wagon also, and we would walk the few yards to my house. I would pick her up and climb the three floors, put her in my house and then go back down and carry the wagon with everything in it to the apartment. I would take the wagon down and then her when it was time to go home. This happened everytime she would come to my house. Sometimes my mom would help me, but now and again my mom would come home about fifteen minutes after we did. When that happened she would carry the wagon down the steps when it was time for LeiAloha to go home.
I would stay at LeiAloha's house. I loved her. One day, she asked her mom if I could carry her to school in the spring because she had never been able to walk to or from school. My older sister would carry her book bag and mine for me while I carried LeiAloha. She loved walking and so we would get permission to take the Radio Flyer to walk around the neighborhood with her. I would pull her. Every once in a while she was too sick to be pulled. When she did not come to school, I would call her or go by and ask her if everything is ok.
One Day in April she had to move closer to the Hospital, called Primary Children's Hospital. I was invited to see her on my way down to Provo to visit family. I was so excited to do this. I had called her and we talked once a week. I missed her and wanted to see her. I was going to Provo in May, for a holiday for five days and was allowed to call her and meet her and see her for a few minutes on my way to Provo. I called and her mom answered the phone. I asked for LeiAloha. She said, "Is this a joke?" and I said, "No. Where is she?" and her mom started crying. Before I knew it her father came on the phone and started yelling at me and told me to never call there again and he swore at me and said I was a horrible brat and said words I had never heard before and hung up. I cried and cried because I did not understand what was happening. I never knew what happened until I was about 12-13 and I was talking to my dad about it and he helped me realize that LeiAloha died and that her parents reaction to me calling was hurtful and painful for them because they did not know that I did not understand that LeiAloha was terminally ill and only had a few years to live on this earth. What was more was that in fact, my dad knew that LeiAloha had out lived children with her same condition she was born with. I will never ever forget my sweet dearest little friend LeiAloha. Sometimes, when I am sad or when I think of her laid to rest and me not able to say good bye properly, I think of the times I would walk her on my back, and swing her on the play ground, and I know that when she thinks of her life, she remembers that she had me as her friend. I am at peace with it, and I know she is an angel watching me until I leave this realm.
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