The Summer In Alaska?

My mom had always wanted to go to Scotland. She had a close friend she wanted to go with. Months of planning, saving money, testing trekking boots, back packs, and she was ready to go to Scotland. My older sister and I were going to spend the Summer in Alaska, my younger sister with her dad, and I was excited to go up there and spend time with him. But, then something happened, and my mom did not go. I, years later, found out my father did not want  me to go up there and visit him for whatever reason. Or, maybe he just wasn't equipped to have us girls up there and spend time with him? 

My mom instead went to Summer School and my older sister and I went to Disneyland with my younger sister and her dad. It was a treacherous ride with her and him. He was constantly yelling at my older sister and I and she was constantly finding ways to get me in trouble. (yelled at by her father) It was the last Summer I ever wanted to spend with my younger sister and her father. I decided then and there that I wanted nothing to do with them, both of them. 

Disneyland was fun though, and we had a blast. At that time there was an Autopia, cars that went around a track, but the cars were miniature Cadillacs and Chevrolets. I loved that ride. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea Ride was always full of people and super long lines. So, we went on other rides. We also went to the pool, and stayed a few days in Las Vegas. 

We came home, tired, sun-kissed, smelling of cigarrette smoke, and happy. Mom announced we were moving back to Provo, Utah, which made me happier.

My Friends

This was the year, in fourth grade, I had to learn many things that I never realized happened in life. That was death and friendships. Allow me to go back. 

When I was in Logan, Utah we had moved into the Third Floor of a University Housing Complex. 
I was the new girl, and I felt a that point I always was the new girl. I had anxiety really bad, I mean I was scared a lot. I internalized how I felt to the world because I didn't understand how I felt. I hated moving. I never wanted to move and it seemed that we moved a lot. I made friends ok, but hten we had to up and move again. This really made me feel like I was out casted and awkward. Maybe that is how all chilren feel. There was some girls in my class that were all friends and one girl who for some reason we just hated each other. She really hated me and because she was so rude to me, I really had a strong disliking to her. 
This girl, named Katelyn was just really arrogant. For some reason, we just didn't get along. She alwys tried kicking me in the chair, the list went on and on. One day, I told my mom I disliked her so badly,I wanted to change class rooms. The next Monday when I showed up to class, I was not only sitting right next to her, My Math book was missing. Her English Book was missing from her desk. We accused eachother of stealing each others books. The Teachers solution was that we were to share each others books, and if there were homework that I needed in math or homework she needed to do for English, we had to go to eachothers house and do homework together. The first week consisted of her not allowing me to touch her book. At all. Slowly, and very gradually, she bacame my best friend in forth Grade and within a couple of months we were inseperable. Many times we would laugh so hard we would snort, we would do all kinds of things together. We were best friends. And that friendship carried all the rest of our lives. Sometimes for years I would not hear from her but rest assured, she and I would pick up from where we left off right after. 
At the same time school started and I was all moved in there was one girl that attracted my attention. 
Her name was LeiAloha H (names in this story has been changed to protect their identity.)
LeiAloha had very thick glasses. She walked very slowly and had a bent back and twisted legs. Her back arched really badly and she was about the size of a 2T and her feet were tiny. About the size of the palms of my hand. LeiAloha had one hand (left) that at times she could not control. From the first day of school I could see her struglling to walk to the play ground. And everyday she would get trampled over and pushed down and no one would stop to help her up. The only thing she would be able to do on the playground without getting trampled is swing. But by the time she got to the swing set, kids would be there to push her down, not let her on and about ten minutes later,s he had to make the trek back to class which was a painstainkingly 20 or more mintures because again, she'd get pushed down, made fun of, not helped, and I could not stand it. I hated it. So, for the second week of the beginning of school I decided I was going to get her a swing. I would to get to the swings and wait my turn and when someone would leave the swing, I would sit on it and swing until LeiAloha would come. Then, I would tell her to come on it and I would give her my swing. The first day I was sad. She refused my swing and just looked down on the ground. Well, I was determined, I was the tallest girl in the class room and the tallest girl in fourth and fifth grades. Of course my sister was the tallest in the school and so  I settled for second tallest.But I was more determined to befriend this girl. I didn't want to see someone be mean to her. The next day I insisted that she come to the swing. M,ssoin accomplished. She came to the swing, but she was to short to come on it without help. And so I lifted her on the swing. 
I pushed her in silence as she swang. 
The next day I decided that only five minutes of play ground time was not enough. So, I said to her that I did not want to watch her everyday have to struglle to get to playground, and I was tired of people being mean to her. So, I told her if she let me, she can climb on my back and I can piggy back ride to the playground, and I will swing her. She was leary at first. But, within a few minutes of getting to the swing for the first time in her life, she loved it. The next day and everyday after that, I would carry her to and from the swings and gradually, I helped her on other things, like the monkey bars. I developed a group of friends that were all really nice girls and it was our "job" I would tell my friends, to protect her. And they and I did. There were times however, she was too sick or would have to go to the hospital that she could not come school. I would really miss her and worry about her. My friends would not think much of it. But I thought about her all the time. 
  I got fed up with some of the boys pushing her down and once while I went to the bathroom and came back, she was in the middle of a cruel game of tag. She was in the middle of a cirlse of five boıys. they were all pushing her down and when she would try to get up they would take turns pushing her down again. I was boiling mad. I hit two boys and was trying to give a thrid a good old smack down when they ran away and the frist two were crying and had gotten really bad bloody noses. Next thing I knew it I was in the Principals Office. My mom came in the office and said, What Happened? I told her that I punched two boys because they were pushing down LeiAloha. My mom said, Did they hurt you? I said No, she said Did you hit them as hard as you could? I said Yes, I tried to kick them after but they got away. She said Did they cry? I said Yes, they have bloody noses or black eye or something. She said GOOD JOB! I am taking you to get ice cream! Don't let anyone ever bully anyone else. Let's go! And she took me to get Aggies Ice Cream. After School I had a sleep over with LeiAloha and mom got us Pizza. She wanted to celebrate that I beat up some bad mean bullies. Looking back, Way to go, Mom!  
One day I was invited to go to her house. Pleasantly we discovered that my apartment complex was across the street from her house! This was awesome for us because we were so close and we did not even know it. I had a Radio Flyer Wagon I loved so much and I would get her, her Barbies and her Barbie things and we would put her things in the Red Flyer, she would sit in the wagon also, and we would walk the few yards to my house. I would pick her up and climb the three floors, put her in my house and then go back down and carry the wagon with everything in it to the apartment. I would take the wagon down and then her when it was time to go home. This happened everytime she would come to my house. Sometimes my mom would help me, but now and again my mom would come home about fifteen minutes after we did. When that happened she would carry the wagon down the steps when it was time for LeiAloha to go home. 
I would stay at LeiAloha's house. I loved her. One day, she asked her mom if I could carry her to school in the spring because she had never been able to walk to or from school. My older sister would carry her book bag and mine for me while I carried LeiAloha. She loved walking and so we would get permission to take the Radio Flyer to walk around the neighborhood with her. I would pull her. Every once in a while she was too sick to be pulled. When she did not come to school, I would call her or go by and ask her if everything is ok. 
One Day in April she had to move closer to the Hospital, called Primary Children's Hospital. I was invited to see her on my way down to Provo to visit family. I was so excited to do this. I had called her and we talked once a week. I missed her and wanted to see her. I was going to Provo in May, for a holiday for five days and was allowed to call her and meet her and see her for a few minutes on my way to Provo. I called and her mom answered the phone. I asked for LeiAloha. She said, "Is this a joke?" and I said, "No. Where is she?" and her mom started crying. Before I knew it her father came on the phone and started yelling at me and told me to never call there again and he swore at me and said I was a horrible brat and said words I had never heard before and hung up. I cried and cried because I did not understand what was happening. I never knew what happened until I was about 12-13 and I was talking to my dad about it and he helped me realize that LeiAloha died and that her parents reaction to me calling was hurtful and  painful for them because they did not know that I did not understand that LeiAloha was terminally ill and only had a few years to live on this earth. What was more was that in fact, my dad knew that LeiAloha had out lived children with her same condition she was born with. I will never ever forget my sweet dearest little friend LeiAloha. Sometimes, when I am sad or when I think of her laid to rest and me not able to say good bye properly, I think of the times I would walk her on my back, and swing her on the play ground, and I know that when she thinks of her life, she remembers that she had me as her friend. I am at peace with it, and I know she is an angel watching me until I leave this realm.               

Car Problems. Sluffing School

We left in July or August- ish and moved back up to Logan Utah. My dad- turned not dad- was working for the University there and so mom had the chance of going to the University there.
  I figured out how to check myself out of school.
I would feel sick and so I would ask to call my mom. I would, infront of the Secretary at the Front Office "Call my mom". The phone would ring and ring and ring and so I would say, "Hi, Mom, It is me, can you come get me? I feel really sick today" then, as the phone was ringing, I would still talk to it, I would say, "Ok, I will. I love you mom" and I would tell the Secretary, "Mom said to wait outside for her. She will be here soon" the Secretary would then say,"Get better!" and I would sit outside for a minute and then Secretary would get busy doing something and disappear from the window and I would walk home. We lived about three blocks from the school. I would come home and change into my pj's and watch Sesame Street, or the News. I hated Soap Operas. I did this a few times and then, got caught. I was grounded for two weeks. 

My mom bought a car at this same time and she went down to Provo to get it. Us girls had friends and family in Provo so we made a weekend out of it and ran to Provo to get the new car. We were so excited until the car made a noise right as we were getting off the On- Ramp and onto the Highway. Then, the Car stopped and when my mom tried to start it again, it burst into flames. The whole engine literally burst into flames. I have thought about this several times. My mom's reaction was, girls, get out of the car right now, and we did it fast, and then mom told us to go off the road in case the car blew up. (We did not know what to expect!) I was hoping the car would blow up and I just knew that there was someone following us and wanting us dead. My older sister said I watched too many "Charlie's Angels".

We got home safe, and mom got another  "new car" only this time it was a long brown Lincoln.

There is more: How Learned Persuasion

By the time Fourth Grade came around, we had moved back up to Utah. A little town called Logan. 
My mom had decided to head up there and she got a grant to go to the University there. My mom did not like Vegas at all. She missed the mountains and loved the Beaches of California but we didnt have the money to live in Californa and so mom settled for Utah. Familiar Territory. 

We moved into Student Married Housing and  we lived on the third floor of the Apartment Complex. The Problem with the complex was that I had a Guinea Pig. We aren't allowed pets. My mom, God Bless her, HATED rodents and did not really like my Guinea Pig but did in fact decide to endure Valentine. I in hte meantime promised to not ever shove Valentine in my mom's face, clean her cage, feed her, make sure she was well, on my own.  I fed Valentine lots and lots of vegetable scraps, gave her a slat lick, gave her water, and found a system that I would be able to take her out side and let her roam about and not get away. I found a really small leash. I would take her outside and let her play and romp on the grass and bring her in and let her swim in the bath tub. I would blow dry her completely and put her leash back on while I scrubbed the cage. 
 Valentine was my friend. I really hated to part with her. I loved Valentine so much. 
My mom said that I had to get rid of her because the Apratment Complex said that we could not have pets. Well, I told my mom we can just talk to the Manager of the Complex. She said she was not going to because it was not worth it. I told her I will talk to him I decided he needed to meet Valentine because, really once you meet her how can you not fall in love with her. My mom smiled, not telling me she was very doubtful of the out come of the meeting. She set up the appointment. 
Valentine, mom and I went to the meeting. I shook the man's hand and he sat down behind the big desk of which he worked. He was a really tall man and older than my mom with a business suit on.  I was a little scared but I had to do this for Valentine.
I explained to him that I understnad the policy of no pets, but that it only said No Cats, No Dogs. It did not say anything about a Guinea Pig, and Guinea Pig, My Guinea Pig was like a best friend to me. I said that I had money from my allowence saved that I would cover the cost of the Deposit and can I please keep Valentine. He listened to me for a while. Then he was silents pensively thinking after my plea. He asked me if he could hold her. I said Yea. He asked me what I fed my Gunea Pig, how often and who took care of the Gunea Pig. I answered him that I took care of him, cleaned him and the cage, and that I gave him a salt lick and water and I showed him my leash. 
 He was really impressed and said for me to bring in my mom who was out side in the Office Waiting area for us. She came in and He told her that he was impressed with how I was able to talk to him and care for my Guinea Pig and that I was allowed pets, small animals, no Dogs or Cats as long as I took care of them and cleaned them and it did not ruin our Apt. 
YAY! 
We celebrated. I walked Valentine home with mom, and fed her a bunch of broccoli and celery. 
Thus Learning Persuasion    

And So:::

My birth father visited me while I was living in Nevada. I remember some of it.
 I remember we went to the pool a lot. And I remember we stayed int eh Frontier Hotel, which is not there on the strip anymore. I should say Las Vegas is nothing like it was in the 1970's but, I will say the Flamingo hotel was there, and it still is there.
  I remember we stayed maybe two nights with him. It was the third time in my life I saw him, Fourth if you count that time he walked right on by us in the Neil Diamond Concert in Salt Lake City.
 I have pictures of that time. I do not have many with him. But, I will say that I have these pictures and the more I am going through this human experience the more I appreciate the pictures.
I did have a favorite doughnut. It was a Hostess Raspberry Filled. You know the kind with the powered sugar covering it and a sort of cake doughnut with a raspberry filling. I loved those but because we did not have a lot of money, mom did not buy them often. maybe once a year or less. But how I loved them.
Daddy asked me and my sister what we wanted for breakfast, and I said that with chocolate milk, and D said she wanted Hostess Old Fashioned Doughnuts, which was her favorite. He replied with, I am going to go get them, you girls wait here. I do not know what time that was, but it was night and we had spend the evening in the Circus Circus playing all the games and after a long walk on The Strip. We had spent the day swimming the pool and so, I was ready for bed. I woke up the next morning with my dad gone and my sister in the bathroom. He came back while we waited. He did not have doughnuts. We went to JB's Big Boy, and ate pancakes. But I really wanted doughnuts.
  My dad left that fast. As fast as he came, he was gone. I thought I was going to see him again soon.
We always think that things will be the way we want them when we are young and are promised so many things.

But, Wait!

There is MORE! 

  My Third Grade year was a little rough, I guess. I did not realize it until  I looked back three moves in one school year. Let me explain. 

  My mom and dad and us living in the house my dad had, well, things did not always work the way we wanted and my mom packed us girls up and we moved to Las Vegas, sans dad. 

  I remember packing up my room and thinking... Dang, that was an awesome room. I was really sad. It seemed like we left really fast and it was about March or April. My new teacher in E. W. Griffith Elementary was actually really really nice. She was from Australia. Our room was decorated with Pictures of Kangaroos and Koalas you know, our room had an "Outback" theme to it. She was shorter than me, almost, which means she was shorter than 5'4". Yep you got it right. I was TALL. (For all my European or non- American readers, that is 1.62 meters, yes I had to find a converter because I do not know the metric system) 

  Anyway, I had a couple of friends. One friend of mine was Mexican. She seemed really nice. I was invited to her home for a birthday party. I was really excited to go. I bought her a present, and there was all kinds of music and it was a pool party. So, we were told to bring our swim suits. Of course her mom made Enchiladas and we had chips and salsa, it was fun. All the kids in the class came. The girls were to have a sleep over that evening when the boys left at 9:00 pm. All the girls were to go put their swim suits on and the boys too. I went in the bathroom and put mine on. We came out and for some reason, her mother spoke in Spanish about me pointed and me and was really really upset that I was there. To the point that Her mom told me I could not eat at the birthday. I do not know why, I look back and think that this woman had a big problem with white people, because once I thought about it, again. my sisters and I were the only white kids in a neighborhood with many many Blacks and Mexicans. There were three black girls that were nice to me and they laughed when I asked them if they were from Fiji, because I first thought they were from Fiji. They said... Fiji? WHAT IS THAT? So, We laughed and played on the play ground. But I was never invited over to anyone's house. I invited girls to come over all the time, but they always declined. My uncle T moved eventually down the street and around the corner from us and so I would go to my cousins house all the time. 

 My aunts I had two, One R and one named R were also home and my aunt and I shared a room with my older sister and my Guinea Pig. 

 My Grandpa frequently told me, "It is a good thing you are so beautiful because you sure are a brat". My mom would tell him that that was mean and to never say that to my me. My uncles would play the guitar and they were always so nice to have around. I had one uncle who had went on an L.D.S. Mission to Idaho. This is where he met my  aunt and after his Mission he went back to get to know her as a normal kid off his Mission. He married her. My second Uncle,S went on a Mission to Spain. I believe he was in the Madrid area. He might have not been married but barely coming back from his Mission and my third uncle went on a Mission to Sacramento, California. This was most fortuitous. I say this because the Mission covered a lot of Northern California and at the time my Aunt who lived with us in California was living there with her son, and she was not always there. Her son ended up having to be cared for by her ex-husband, his father, who was not a really nice guy and I would even go far as to say he was a drunk. So, my uncle would be able to drop in on him if he was in the area. This area is a small town called Gridley, California.  That city is also the birth place of my own mother. 

  So, my uncle, Ray, was getting off his Mission while my fourth uncle and last uncle was going on a Mission to Indiana. My grandpa worked hard as did my grandma. They worked as gardeners for a man that is very famous in the Vegas area, who would sing live and do Vegas Shows on the Strip while people watched and ate dinner. The Strip in those days ended at "The Frontier Hotel" and further down teh street was "The Flamingo" which is still famous and one of the few that did not get the axe when reconstructing the Strip to what is is today. 

My mom found a job working as an on call babysitter. This means that she qualified for a babysitting license in the State of Nevada and she would work for hotels being a babysitter for people that wanted to come to Vegas to gamble, and needed a babysitter. My mom also got accepted to UNLV. In the Psychology Department. My mom had a teacher in Hawaii she just adored. This Professor of hers renewed her love to study the English Language, and Poetry. But om wanted to be a Child Psychologist or something along those lines. 

 Mom worked her tail off supporting us kids and worked lots of hours. She studied hard and went to school and worked. Us kids were with her family and it was nice for us to all be together. I would sometimes got ot work with Grandma and Grandpa at the house that they were Gardeners for. The famous person that they worked for was really nice and let me play in the swimming pool. He said he sang and so I would ask him to sing me a song. He would sing me a song and I would say... You should sing this song, I mean... Everyone knows it because it is on the radio" he would laugh and say "touché babe". I look back at those conversations and think... Why did I not appreciate this man singing to me? DAAAANG!!! And I think ı might have a picture of me with him tucked away somewhere. but, you know, I was not raised to be that way. I was raised that everyone is normal. That Fame is nothing if you are not a good kind person. I was taught that really it all comes down to is we are all people. That his fame was a job, but really in the whole grand scheme of things, it is what YOU are... Not your occupation. So, I did not understand at the time who he really was. Now, I think... Wow... I was raised to not think of it as a big deal. Mind you he was not always home, but, from time to time he was there. He had a big beautiful house but no one home to share it with. That to me struck me as sad. I would ask him that, if he was lonely. He would smile and tell me to go enjoy his pool. I did. It was so hot in Las Vegas, I loved swimming in the pool. He had a couple of horses, a Loganberry Tree, hardly any neighbors for miles, lots of land and my grandparents were really good at caring for it. My Grandpa built him a shed or two, a nice garage, made his fence surrounding his property, did all kinds of work on his property. My Grandma made him dinners and cleaned his house. My grandma for a gift for him being so kind made him a quilt too. Grandpa took care of his animals. They worked hard for this man and he was a good employee. 

  I think it was a great Summer that year. I look back fondly. 

(Looking for a picture to stick here... Sigh... I lost a file somewhere. My pictures need to be filed better)

  

Do you believe in Hauntings?

I do not know if I do or not. I do not know what to believe sometimes. But, I will say this. What I experienced in that house and what my family did, was real. And I am not exaggerating. I can not lie. And I would be a good Novelist, however, these are true life human experiences that I had, mixed in with different people and things only to protect the identity of those who are living. Especially my mom because she is a very private person. And Me because my mom would be mortified if she knew I was writing these. My mom would think I am finding fault with her and I have said time and time again, my mom is awesome and amazing and I love her. I do not have anything bad to say or think of her. My mom is a doll and my dearest protector. My mom sometimes forgets many things I remember. My dad seems to think my memories of certain events are fictitious and that through out time being an adult, my memory has become just a great story. But, I say, I remember many many things that detail can not make up.  And there are somethings that my mind has chosen to forget. For example. Mrs Widow Stanley. This point in my life, I have forgotten her. But, there in this home lies something very sinister. Dark Shadows. This I can not explain. Let me tell you what happened to me in this home

The first couple of days we moved in, things were hazy for me. You know, boxes, the smell of fresh paint, new beds, old familiar things mixed in with new things. 

 I wanted to explore the house. I felt that there was more than I knew about it. My pet Guinea Pig was furry and a baby still and white. All white. I assumed because she had pink eyes she was a she. My mom was kind about her but really, my mom in retrospect hated anything but Bunnies. Looking back, If I had a bunny with long floppy ears and white with black eyes or brown eyes and furry and floppy my mom would have held the bunny. But Guinea Pigs to her were tail-less rats. And mine squeaked. Which my mom I think she tried and tried to think it was cute. But, remembering her face, I think after wards when trying to hold her, she would shutter. I am smiling right now because my mom hated me having her but was happy to see me with a pet whom I loved. Valentine had a cage. When she was tiny tiny, she did not know that a box could be eaten through. But, The first night I was there, she had eaten a hole in her box, and dad and mom realized I needed something metal to hold my Guinea Pig. We went to the store after school and found a bigger type cage because we did not know how big Valentine would get. we got the biggest Rabbit cage we could find and Dad said if she grows bigger than that, we will have a problem. The cage was so big, I remember thinking my little impish sister could fit in it. I would have tried if I did not get in huge trouble. Mom was very protective of her and getting more so. It seemed the older my little got, the more mean she got, and the more her and I fought. My older sister and I would try to include her in our secrets or games, but things always went awry  when we planned to make amiable games or time with her. In this home, however, my little sister was scared. I mean scared. I thought at first that she was not used to having her own room. She never had in her life before. Danae did, from time to time, but I shared with Chimera all the other times. Chimera was now in Second Grade, and I was in Third. I was nine years old and Chimera was still seven, but turning eight. She started getting night terrors and honestly she had them in the past, but not like these. Mom would try to consul her and they were horrible. However, she had a hard time explaining the dreams too. They were just horrible dreams. Danae allowed her to sleep in her room with her, and sometimes when Danae would be at a friends for the night, she would come into my bed with me and sleep. 

  Every night with out fail, my Guinea Pig would be on my bed. Guinea Pigs do not climb and are more burrowers. I would out my Guinea back in her cage. Lock the cage and she would be out again.  

That was the first strange thing. 

  The next strange thing was my closet. 

Chimera was always afraid of closets at night, and I thought she was joking when she said my closet was creepy to her. Even to the point that she would laugh and laugh and I thought she was playing an impish joke with me. 

 One day I was up stairs in my room alone. I saw a door in the back of my closet. I was curious as to where it went and what it was for. I never saw a door in the back of my closet. I cleaned my room eery other day, got dressed, even organized my closet every Saturday, but how that door never came to my attention before I never understood . I asked my aunt (my uncle's wife) about the door. "There is a door? I did not know there was one."  My uncle Tim did not know either. He was the one that remodeled the home.

I dreamed that night that all of the upper house was in shambles. The Oak wood that was our home flooring was gray and full of rot. I do not remember much of the dream, but I woke up and went to the window. It was rainy outside and as I looked out the window there was a light on the ground. the whole out ofdoors was black as black as ebony yet the light was white, a transparent white. I kept looking at it and the light got a little bigger, and floated up to my window and in the light was a creature. It was scary. I thought it looked like an old woman but I can not say. I ran back to my bed. Again, Valentine was on my bed. How she got there, still I have no idea. I put her back in her cage and locked the cage, and laid under my covers, looking at my closet, and the door that was in the back of the closet was opened. I turned over to my left side and hid deeper in my covers. I was just "fracking" scared. I fell asleep again. Chimera came in my room a couple hours later. She kept kicking Danae and Danae had enough. I was too scared to turn her away and so she slept with me. But was not allowed to touch me with her feet. 

The next day I told my mom about my dream and about everything that I saw. My mom said it was all a bad dream. 

 It was a day where there was no school because I wanted to do some more looking around. I asked m y aunt what was down stairs. In the basement. She was in the kitchen. She needed to get something down there anyway and told me to see for myself. I did. It was about noon time and my Aunt Maren was making Spaghetti and she always canned fruits and vegetables. She wanted some tomatoes which she stored in the cellar and asked me to have a look down stairs and while coming back up to please bring her some tomatoes on the shelf. I obliged and went to the cellar. the stairs to the cellar were wide. Unlike David's mom's cellar that was outside and a hole dug in the ground and scary and creepy this one was inside a house. the stairs were concrete and covered with marble and leading to a basement with pillars that supported the house. All of it had some windows, rectangles that were longer than wider, and so there was day light that would come through, and there were lights down there. Although that day they did not work. No matter I thought, because it was sunny outside and I could still see pretty well. As I got to the bottom of the stairs, rats were all over. They were on the shelves, on the floor crawling all over the walls and they were all over the support columns. They were on the shelves that I had to get to to get the tomatoes and on the floor near the shelves was a dead something. I saw teeth, I saw it was rotting dead, I smelled a strange stench and it was freezing cold down there. I screamed and ran upstairs. 

 To let you all know, I had a speech impediment. I stuttered and stammered horribly.  I could pronounce my letters by the time I was 6, I could read and write beautifully, I could talk but my tongue was just not allowing me to say it as fast as I wanted to nor as fast as I was thinking. I stuttered quite badly. It took me a long time to say what I needed to say. When I ran up those steps screaming all I could spit out was "r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-RATS" My mom was not home, she was going to school. My uncle was at school too. My dad was at work but all us kids and Aunt Maren were home. Aunt Maren KNEW and believed me that there was something terrifying down there and she ran down there. The light worked and nothing was there. Nothing. It was clean, with rows and rows of shelves and a cool cellar for storing our food. But she believed me because she knew the house like I did. 

  My mom and dad were not unbelievers of the house, I think that my mom did not want me scared. My mom has this perpetual positive way of thinking which is a good quality in one, however, she perpetual positive thinking left little room to believe that I saw what I saw. My mom's conclusion was that I told too many ghost stories and that I was letting my imagination go wild. My dad's was too. My dad being in the line of work he was in, thought it was my imagination mixed with stress of a marriage, a new family life and moving twice in one year that made it more stressful for me and so I had a more vivid imagination than my sisters.

  My dad has a son that is close to my age. He would come and visit us on the weekends. We enjoyed him coming. My dad went however this time to go visit him for the weekend and it was on this weekend that something more terrifying happened to me. Again, mom was gone, but maybe either studying in the library and grocery shopping while Aunt Maren again was home but this day my uncle Tim was home. and same with my little sister and baby cousins.  I was in my room again. This time, I was playing with my sister, Chimera. She always seemed braver than I in the day time, and at night she was scared. I was opposite. In this house, at least. We were in my room playing with records on my Mickey Mouse Record player when the door to my closet opened. "Chimera," I said, "Look! I told you I have a door. You did not believe me". 

"Oh heck, what is in thewe, Dee?" "I don't know. Want to come with? I don't want to go alone". 

 "But, why I didn't see it befowe" (Chimera could not pronounce her "R" sound.) "Awe you scawed? I am not." "Then, come with. We will go together" "You go fiwst. It is youw woom." "OK."I took two steps in and she slammed the door behind me laughing. I tried the door, but it felt locked. She locked the door? She was laughing but it was a strange laugh. It was deep. It sounded mean, too. "Let me out" I was stuttering. Badly. Her joke went terribly awry. According to her, she was going to come in with me, but thought it would be funny to try to scare me and she closed the door. She intended to reopen the door, but, it would not open. It took me years to believe that she was intending to come in in the first place. And, yet the strange part is this:  I screamed and yelled and shouted, but no one heard me. And when I was finally let out of the room, my uncle had to use a sledge hammer and  saw and knock out and cut the wall of my closet, because there was no door. The room was about 10 feet by 10 feet and just like in my dream. Everything was gray. There was a candle stick on a small what appeared to be a bed side table. And a window. The window was the same size as mine in my room. It was covered though, or not a lot of light came from it. It was as though this was sealed up a long time ago. 

  By the time my uncle got me out, there was a hole in my closet the size of me to squeeze out of and as soon as I came out of the room both my aunt and uncle engulfed me in their arms. I felt safe. My uncle that night, before I went to bed, patched the hole in my closet and said my room closet will never ever open again. He was right. It did not. Chimera could have never known what was going to happen. And what she saw when I was in the room I do not know, and she does not remember this incident, but, According to my aunt years later, when we talked about it, she did not hear me. I did not come down for dinner and she looked all over for me before Chimera said anything about the door. My aunt felt that she should have gotten in trouble for hiding the fact that I was engulfed in an attic, with out the possibility of escape and she knew it but refused to say anything. Whether she wanted me in there, thought it was a game or was scared that she would get in trouble, I will not know. But, a normal reaction of a child who sees their sister in distress is to run for help. Chimera never did. But then again, Chimera was not a normal child, and this house was not a normal house. 

Years later when I was about 22 or 23 I spend a week with my aunt in Nevada. Far away in time and place from the home. I told her all I remembered. She told me little, but sat and listened and said, "That house was evil, Deej, pure evil." She said that once while she was home alone as my uncle had to work a night shift, she heard something in the Formal Sitting Room. We had long moved out of the house. She said that she heard her silverware clanging. She thought maybe my uncle came home from work early. The house was quiet, but that. She said that she got up to investigate and when she did, her sliver knives were flying (or thrown) towards her and she ducked and ran into her kids room to see if they were OK. She said there were many many scary bad things that happened in that house, spirits hoovering over my cousins, and they were not able to sleep. I said to her that my mom kept telling me that my experiences in that home were only a bad dream. She smiled and said, "Yes, that sounds like your mother".  My mom never believed me nor my aunt, and my sister Danae has no memory of our childhood. I think she would assume forget somethings. I would like to know what she does remember, just for fun sake. I know she has since visited the home because now it is a Museum, and is on the registry of Historical Homes. I understand the haunting(s) stopped, or rather, they did not follow my aunt and uncle and their family. So, I think it is located in just that home.

Maybe some of it were in my dreams, but there are some things that you just can not invent. I did not invent those memories of that home. Sadly, we moved. Although I found the home rather scary, I still liked it. It was an old Victorian style, and I thought it was a pretty home. But, we moved. And with that came another new part in our lives. 

This is not my picture. It is from the webpage: whatliesbeyond4you taken by Chris Matheny.